


The Penguin's Packin'

by deathbyOTPin123



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Crack, M/M, No actual sex, Oswald is a great man, even though they're getting to it, with a great package
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 06:23:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16571339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathbyOTPin123/pseuds/deathbyOTPin123
Summary: Edward and Jim see Oswald naked in the bedroom for the first time.





	The Penguin's Packin'

“Jesus.”

“Oh, dear.” 

Jim and Edward spoke in unison, making Oswald blush bright red. Oswald’s hands gripped the hem of his underwear. Before he could pull it back up, Edward swathed at his hands and Jim pulled the black boxer briefs off of him the entire way. 

“ _ Jim! _ ” Oswald exclaimed, covering himself. The act required the use of both of his hands. As Jim started to wrestle with him to pull them off, Edward jumped off the bed to go to the desk in the middle of his apartment. “Cut. It. Out.” Oswald slapped Jim’s forearm, giving the other man the opportunity to dislodge his other hand, leaving him uncovered. He froze, Jim gripping his wrists, as he felt something cold unroll from the base to the tip of his cock. 

“Seven point eight inches,” Edward ricited in a scientific tone, staring straight ahead; the measuring tape held between his thumbs and forefingers. 

Jim licked his lips, looking down between Oswald’s legs. Oswald’s mouth hung open in disbelief. He used their moment of trance to grab the pillow under his head.

“ _ What _ the hell is  _ wrong _ with you two?!” He smacked them each with the pillow several times before using it to cover himself as he backed up to the headboard. 

“Jesus, Oswald… Where do you keep that monster?” Jim rubbed the back of his neck. “How does it fit into those tight sewn pants?” 

“It’s not that big…” Edward adjusted his glasses. “...when flacid.” He couldn’t stop staring at the pillow Oswald held firmly close to himself. 

“So, a grower, not a shower, eh?” Jim smiled and wiggled his eyebrows at Edward who in response blinked in confusion. Jim cleared his throat. “Nevermind.”

Licking his lips, Jim looked back at Oswald. He wrapped his hand over Oswald’s healthy ankle. “Wonder what it tastes like…”

Oswald’s eyes darted in panic between the two.

Edward hummed in agreement. His gaze trailed from Jim’s hand up Oswald’s leg. He placed his left hand on Oswald’s right flank. With a glint in his eyes and a wicked smile on his lips, he threw the measuring tape over his shoulders unto the floor.

Jim was already leaning forward.

“Gentlemen?” Oswald gulped. It was all he could manage before both of his lovers pulled him back to the center of the bed. Their mouths and hands caressed every inch of him.


End file.
